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CodeSOD: A Promise of Timing

Asynchronous programming is hard, and there‘s never been a perfect way to solve that problem. One of the most widely used solutions is the promise or future. We wrap the asynchronous process up in a, well, promise of a future result. Someday, there will be data here, I hope. The real beauty of promises comes from their composability- getData promises to fetch some records, and then the calling method can promise to display them. Of course,

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CodeSOD: Classic WTF: It‘s Like Calling Assert

We continue our summer vacation with this gem- a unique way to interact with structured exception handling, to be sure. Original. --Remy When we go from language to language and platform to platform, a whole lot of ‘little things‘ change about how we write code: typing, syntax, error handling, etc. Good developers try to adapt to a new language by reading the documentation, asking experienced colleagues, and trying to follow best pra

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Representative Line: Highly Functional

For a brief period of time, say, about 3-4 years ago, if you wanted to sound really smart, you‘d bring up functional programming. Name-dropping LISP or even better, Haskell during an interview marked you as a cut above the hoi polloi. Even I, surly and too smart for this, fell into the trap of calling JavaScript LISP with curly braces, just because it had closures. Still, functional programming features have percolated through other langu

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The Insurance Plan

When designing a new feature of an application, among other things, you always want to decide how it will be used. Is it single threaded or will it need to happen in parallel. Will only one user do it at a time, or does it need to support asynchronous access. Will every user want to do it in the same way, or will they each want something just a little different. Charlie C. worked for a modestly sized financial startup that had gained some t

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Classic WTF: Server Room Fans and More Server Room Fun

The Daily WTF is taking a short summer break this week, and as the temperatures around here are edging up towards "Oh God I Want to Die" degrees Fahrenheit, I thought it‘d be great to kick off this week of classic articles with some broiling hot server room hijinks. -- Remy It‘s that time of year again, Robert Rossegger wrote, you know, when the underpowered air conditioner just can‘t cope with the non-winter weather? Fortunate

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Error‘d: Perfectly Logical

"Outlook can‘t open an attachment because it claims that it was made in Outlook, which Outlook doesn‘t think is installed...or something," writes Gavin. Mitch wrote, "So, the problems I‘m having with activating Windows 10 is that I need to install Windows 10. Of course!" "I don‘t expect 2018 to come around," writes Adam K., "Instead we‘ll all be transported back to 2014!" "Here I thought that the world had gone

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CodeSOD: Variation on a Theme

If you‘re not already aware, the Daily WTF is open source. We went the route of building our own CMS mostly because our application needs are pretty light. We don‘t need themes, we don‘t need WYSIWYG editors, we don‘t need asset uploads. Also, with home-grown code, we know what‘s in it, what it does, and any problems in the code are our own. Which brings us to WordPress, land of the themes. There‘s a cottage

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I Need More Space

Shawn W. was a newbie support tech at a small company. Just as he was beginning to familiarize himself with its operational quirks, he got a call from Jim: The Big Boss. Dread seized Shawn. Aside from a handshake on Interview Day, the only "interaction" he‘d had with Jim thus far was overhearing him tear into a different support rep about having to deal with "complicated computer crap" like changing passwords. No doubt, this call was bou

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Error‘d: @TitleOfErrord

"I asked my son, @Firstname, and he is indeed rather @Emotion about going to @ThemePark!" wrote Chris @LASTNAME. "I think Google assumes there is only one exit on the highway," writes Balaprasanna S. Axel C. writes, "So what you‘re saying here is that something went wrong?" "Hmmmm...YMMV, but that‘s not quite the company that I would want to follow," wrote Rob H. "You know, I also confuse San Francisco with San Jose all the ti

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CodeSOD: A Lazy Cat

The innermost circle of Hell, as we all know, is trying to resolve printer driver issues for all eternity. Ben doesn‘t work with the printers that we mere mortals deal with on a regular basis, though. He runs a printing press, three stories of spinning steel and plates and ink and rolls of paper that could crush a man. Like most things, the press runs Linux- a highly customized, modified version of Linux. It‘s a system that needs to

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Error‘d: Know Your Bits!

"I know software can‘t always be perfect, but things like this make me want to shut down my PC and say that‘s enough computering for the day," writes Timothy W.

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CodeSOD: Classic WTF: Hacker Proof Booleans

We continue our summer break with a classic case of outsmarting oneself in the stupidest way. Original -- Remy "Years ago, long before I‘d actually started programming, I spent my time learning about computers and data concepts by messing around with, believe it or not, cheat devices for video games," wrote Rena K., "The one I used primarily provided a RAM editor and some other tools which allowed me to tool around with the internal game

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The CMS From Hell

Contracting can be really hit or miss. Sometimes, you‘re given a desk and equipment and treated just like an employee, except better paid and exempt from team-building exercises. Sometimes, however, you‘re isolated in your home office, never speaking to anyone, working on tedious, boring crap they can‘t convince their normal staff to do. Eric was contracted to perform basic website updating tasks for a government agency. Most

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Error‘d: A World Turned Upside Down

John A. wrote, "Wait, so ‘Cancel‘ is ‘Continue‘ and ‘OK‘ is really ‘Cancel‘!?" "Not only that; we are thankful too!" writes Bob S. "With those NaN folks viewing my profile on Academaia.edu, it‘s only a matter of time before the world beats a path to my door!" writes Jason K. Andrea S. wrote, "I‘m not sure what fail(ed) but it definitely fail(ed)." "Never thought I‘d say it,

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The Gassed Pump

Staff augmentation, was a fancy way of saying, hey, contractors get more per hour, but we don‘t have to provide benefits so they are cheaper, but Stuart T was happy to get more per hour, and even happier to know that he‘d be on to his next gig within a few months. That was how he ended up working for a national chain of gas-station/convenience stores. His job was to build a new mobile experience for customer loyalty (aka, wrapping the

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Classic WTF: The Accidental Hire

At least we get a summer break, I suppose. Not like over at Doghouse Insurance. Original -- Remy Doghouse Insurance (as we‘ll call them) was not a pleasant place to work. Despite being a very successful player in their industry, the atmosphere inside Doghouse was filled with a constant, frenzied panic. If Joe Developer didn‘t delay his upcoming vacation and put in those weekend hours, he might risk the timely delivery of his team&ls

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